My dreams may define who I am, but lately, I’ve been asking if they should. Do I hold on to them because of the time I invested, and the dread of thinking I’ll have wasted too much of my life on them? Or is there something deeper?
What if my dreams were to be an astronaut, a doctor, a teacher, or a famous singer? Should I go for them? I guess there is still that slim chance that i could fulfill them. But what if I want to be the President of the United States? I lack one critical thing. Being born american or even having an american citizenship. Who knows, perhaps the laws will lighten up for me to be one. But if I’m 100% illegible to be the President, does that mean I give up on my dream to be it even though I’d be doomed to failure? To nail it down to impossible, what if I want to be … another nationality by birth, be born a dog or live in 400 B.C. ? Where do you draw the line between a dream that should be given up, and one that you let live or nurture?
It’s been several weeks now and I think I’m opening up to the idea of changing my dreams if not letting them die. At first, the thought of it was making me bitter. If I were to compare this process to the Kübler-Ross model then I definitely didn’t notice the Denial part. I know there was a time of anger and even a little bit of depression. There could have been the bargaining stage, but I don’t remember it. I think I’m in the acceptance stage.
The dreams may change to something a little more tangible as something that I alone can do. Such as writing a book. By a non-author, good or bad, it’s at least tangible.
Perhaps the frustration and invisible resistance that I have received so far is loose evidence that my current path is not intended for me. Like trying to continue to go through the closed opportunity door. I could still go through it but not without much hardship, frustration, and pain when in the end, it would fulfill me more to try another door for a totally different dream that was evidently my true fate. I’m not in this for happiness, I’m in it for Joy [1]. Resisting my fate will cause frustration, even if I don’t know what the path is. I won’t truly experience joy unless I’m walking in Him and following the path He’s leading me in.
Some may say I’m giving up. I’m coming to realize that should I fulfill my dream, or not, that when I die, I can’t take them with me. I’m sure Mozart cares little about his masterpieces now that he’s been dead for a few centuries now.
Let the dreams take care of themselves, I shall focus on more important things.
1. A Church on the Rock Podcast by Dave Overholt. Message entitled Unfinished Masterpiece: JOY.